Step 1) Open your mouth...
Step 2) Insert your foot...
Step 3) Repeat as often as possible...
Yeah, I've got that down... People are going to begin to doubt the presence of my internal monologue, and start thinking I never think before I speak. That's, surprisingly, not always the case. I do quite often think before I say something, but I still end up saying the wrong thing. Like last night...
I was working the merch table at a local concert with a former co-worker and current friend. It was towards the end, and there were not many people left in the lobby, when I saw an unfamiliar book sitting on the table. The book was facing away from me, so I was seeing the cover upside down, but I did recognize a square-ish jaw line, semi-androgynous features, and curly, voluminous, slightly reddish hair in an outdated style. After thinking it through, my conclusion was not the logical choice of picking up the book, and looking at it from a non-distorted viewpoint, but to loudly, and excitedly exclaim, "Ooooh! Is that Carrot Top?!" I honestly thought it was Carrot Top on the cover!
Of course, it wasn't Carrot Top on the cover, as Kimberly quickly pointing out by shushing me... It was a woman who had attended the show and given a copy of her book, "The Unsinkable Stone" to Chad. She wrote the book as an account of her life and faith... her struggles and triumphs... and she certainly had a few that were highly admirable.
Born with a rare and severe form of cerebral palsy, this woman had spent her entire life in a wheelchair, overcoming significant physical obsticals to create ceramic art, and even write a book... and here I was, foot in mouth, unintentionally insulting her! Thank goodness she was no longer there, because I was mortified, but Kimberly and Jon sure got a good laugh!
Kimberly and Jon are welcome to laugh, because I know that they know I was not trying to be mean-spirited, and would never intentionally insult someone so brazenly, but had simply fallen victim to my own monumental naïveté yet again. They find incidences like this funny because they are not at all uncommon. At least not for me... Spend long enough with me, and I will eventually make a complete idiot of myself without even trying.
With all of the stupid things I have said and done over the years, it's a wonder I am even able to be embarassed anymore...
