One of our campus' neighboring streets is being completely refurbished this summer. This is great news, as a drastic repair is long overdue. At this point, it is more pothole than road, as the undercarriage of my car found out the hard way...
I used to take this street almost every morning, as it is the easiest way to get from the busy street I live on, to the busy street that leads to the home I baby-sit in. One morning, as I made my way down the street, I hit a pothole, and heard what sounded like something metal falling off of my car. I kept and eye out my review mirror, but didn't see anything left behind. I even checked under my car when I arrived, and couldn't see anything hanging from the bottom, so I figured I was good.
About a month later... a few weeks ago... I had to have the starter replaced, and I noticed a loud rattling sound when I got my car back. I immediately returned to the auto body shop to inquire as to the source of the rattle and was told I had a loose exhaust shield... most likely from running over something (like a pothole) but that it was nothing to worry about, and could just be hammered back up the next time I had the oil changed.
Today, I worked the Brewers' Home Opener (they beat the Cubs 4-3 in the bottom of the 9th - GOOD Friday :) and as I pulled into the employee parking lot, I heard a loud metal clang and something underneath my car scraping along the pavement. I checked under my car and saw a large, thin piece of metal half hanging onto my undercarriage, and half resting on the pavement. 'That must be the exhaust shield,' I deduced, and called the auto body shop on my way into work, before being told they couldn't fit me in to fix it until early tomorrow morning.
I ended up finishing early, and called back to see if they'd be able to squeeze me in this afternoon, and they were... so I pulled out of my parking spot, prepared to drive there with the hideous sound of scraping metal under my car. Fortunately, the piece of metal fell completely off before I got out of the parking lot, and the rattling was stopped. When I walked into the auto body shop carrying the large piece of metal, the worker immediately said, "Looks like you don't need me anymore!" Turns out it was the heat shield that fell off, and he told me I don't really need it and he would've just taken it off himself.
Things worked out pretty well, but what did I do on my way back to my apartment? Yep! I took the pothole infested street that got me into my predicament in the first place. Real smart, Kate.
I was thinking about this when I was walking back to my apartment after rounds, and noticed that one of the potholes on that street is so deep that you can see the mesh/wire/grid thing that goes under the concrete on roads! Why would I keep driving on this dangerous street, even after it caused a potentially dangerous problem with my car (what if that huge hunk of metal had fallen off on the highway?!)
Since the start of the initial rattling, I tried taking a different neighboring street, which proved to be just as hazardous because of the many parked cars and jay-walking students, and eventually settled on a much smoother, albeit longer, round-about way of getting to the girls' home in the morning. Despite my every intention to avoid that road, I often find myself driving down Pothold Path... like when I'm running late to baby-sit.
I will sometimes go down that road, knowing the potential hazards, simply because it is the quickest route to my destination. Other times, I will head down Pothole Path out of mere habit. I won't even remember that I'm trying to avoid it, or realize that I'm heading in a potentially hazardous direction, until I am already half way down the road and have hit several potholes. Can you guess where I'm going with this?
The potholes are a lot like our pet vices, the road being the sinful path to temporary satisfaction. As someone who's been playing tug of war with OCD for nearly 20 years, I know as much as anyone the comfort of the familiarity of the Broken Boulevard, and the discomfort of rerouting your commute by the Healthy Highway. Too often, when I get agitated, restless, or unsettled, when I encounter a major change in my life, I am tempted to take the easy, familiar path riddled with potholes, even though I know I will regret it later. Dealing with a broken car, or a broken heart later, is simply easier than dealing with the anxiety of the present... until it catches up with me...
I get both literally and figuratively lost more than anyone I know. I am very much a "turn left by the big oak with the twisty trunk" kind of girl. Fortunately, I was given a GPS for my 24th birthday, and it has helped me safely navigate my way to many new places throughout southeastern WI and northern IL, with much less stress than my previous excursions. Sometimes I forget it, and I get lost, but that just helps me remember and appreciate it even more the next time I'm in need of direction.
I'm fortunate enough to also have a GPS to help me navigate the potholes of life... my Bible... Just like the electronic GPS unit I use in my car, I sometimes forget it... or think I can navigate my way on my own. That just reminds me how important it is to study and familiarize myself with my life's roadmap. It might seem easier, or more fun, to get lost along the sinful path for awhile, but avoiding such eventually painful detours is the easiest way to ensure I arrive at my final destination safely!
Friday, April 10, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
A Light in the dark...
A few weeks ago, the RCs were given the responsibility of coming up with a devotion for our weekly meeting with the RAs. Our meetings are late at night, and I was finishing with the flu that was going around, so I missed the meeting, but we were supposed to each pick a favorite verse of ours and talk about what it means to us.
Choosing just one verse was incredibly difficult. Matthew 5:16 was my Confirmation verse, and one that I sort of use as my own personal motto. Proverbs 3:27 is another one that I reflect on when my job requires me to resolve undesirable situations, but the one I chose to share (then didn't) is Psalm 119:105: "Your Word is a lamp to my feet, and a light for my path." This verse has served as an important reminder for me of God's provision during many uncertain times in my life and, at a time of extreme economic uncertainty, I thought it might be helpful to share with you how this verse has comforted and reassured me.
I'm a literal thinker, so in second or third grade, when our pastor used the verse in his sermon with the literal example of a lamp at our feet, those mechanics produced an analogy that has hit home many times. Since people don't really walk around carrying lamps in the dark anymore, think of God's Word as a flashlight...
The summer after eighth grade, our Confirmation class went on a weekend retreat to Camp Luther in northern WI. Lots of other Confirmation classes were there that weekend, but our group from Beautiful Savior stayed in the Fort Village, which was slightly secluded from the rest of camp... including the flush toilets. Being adolescent girls, we weren't too keen on the idea of using an outhouse in the middle of the pitch black woods, so we would opt for the dark and treacherous hike back to the bath houses at the main camp. During these walks, a flashlight was highly essential.
As a 14 year old girl, my fear would urge me to shine the flashligh straight ahead. That would provide me a dimly lit preview of the twists and turns on the path ahead. However, it would also provide me with an easy way to sprain an ankle. While I might be able to see where the path was headed, I'd have a limited view of the path directly in front of my feet, where rocks and roots waited to trip me up. Although a bit more frightening, it was far wiser to shine the flashlight down, at the path right in front of me. I wasn't able to see as far in front of me, but I was able to see enough to safely reach the bath house.
Like the flashlight pointed down, it's not really God's style to show us everything at once. I imagine if He did, things would be too easy for us, and we might not remember to look to Him for guidance. Still, He never leaves us in total darkness. He always gives us what we need (not necessarily what we think we need) to safely put one foot in front of the other and take one step at a time down the path of life.
This can be unsettling for us sinful humans... especially in today's culture of immediate gratification. We want everything all at once and yesterday! That's when we exercise our trust in an all-knowing God. He knows what's at the end of the path, He built the bath house (oh my goodness - I just compared Heaven to a bathroom!) He gives us His Word to serve as our flashlight, our map. The more we immerse ourselves in it, the more illuminated the path becomes, and the less we fear the dark times.
That doesn't mean that life won't occasionally smack us in the face with a tree branch. We're sinners. We make mistakes, take the occasional detour, but God is always there to turn us back around and point us in the right direction! Knowing this serves as a huge comfort to me in such uncertain times. I don't know when I'll find a fulltime job with health insurance. I don't know how I'll pay off my student loans. I have no clue what the future holds, but I know that God will never leave my side.
Choosing just one verse was incredibly difficult. Matthew 5:16 was my Confirmation verse, and one that I sort of use as my own personal motto. Proverbs 3:27 is another one that I reflect on when my job requires me to resolve undesirable situations, but the one I chose to share (then didn't) is Psalm 119:105: "Your Word is a lamp to my feet, and a light for my path." This verse has served as an important reminder for me of God's provision during many uncertain times in my life and, at a time of extreme economic uncertainty, I thought it might be helpful to share with you how this verse has comforted and reassured me.
I'm a literal thinker, so in second or third grade, when our pastor used the verse in his sermon with the literal example of a lamp at our feet, those mechanics produced an analogy that has hit home many times. Since people don't really walk around carrying lamps in the dark anymore, think of God's Word as a flashlight...
The summer after eighth grade, our Confirmation class went on a weekend retreat to Camp Luther in northern WI. Lots of other Confirmation classes were there that weekend, but our group from Beautiful Savior stayed in the Fort Village, which was slightly secluded from the rest of camp... including the flush toilets. Being adolescent girls, we weren't too keen on the idea of using an outhouse in the middle of the pitch black woods, so we would opt for the dark and treacherous hike back to the bath houses at the main camp. During these walks, a flashlight was highly essential.
As a 14 year old girl, my fear would urge me to shine the flashligh straight ahead. That would provide me a dimly lit preview of the twists and turns on the path ahead. However, it would also provide me with an easy way to sprain an ankle. While I might be able to see where the path was headed, I'd have a limited view of the path directly in front of my feet, where rocks and roots waited to trip me up. Although a bit more frightening, it was far wiser to shine the flashlight down, at the path right in front of me. I wasn't able to see as far in front of me, but I was able to see enough to safely reach the bath house.
Like the flashlight pointed down, it's not really God's style to show us everything at once. I imagine if He did, things would be too easy for us, and we might not remember to look to Him for guidance. Still, He never leaves us in total darkness. He always gives us what we need (not necessarily what we think we need) to safely put one foot in front of the other and take one step at a time down the path of life.
This can be unsettling for us sinful humans... especially in today's culture of immediate gratification. We want everything all at once and yesterday! That's when we exercise our trust in an all-knowing God. He knows what's at the end of the path, He built the bath house (oh my goodness - I just compared Heaven to a bathroom!) He gives us His Word to serve as our flashlight, our map. The more we immerse ourselves in it, the more illuminated the path becomes, and the less we fear the dark times.
That doesn't mean that life won't occasionally smack us in the face with a tree branch. We're sinners. We make mistakes, take the occasional detour, but God is always there to turn us back around and point us in the right direction! Knowing this serves as a huge comfort to me in such uncertain times. I don't know when I'll find a fulltime job with health insurance. I don't know how I'll pay off my student loans. I have no clue what the future holds, but I know that God will never leave my side.
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